I Talked To My Dad Yesterday ...

Well... I talked to my dad yesterday. I thought'd it go actually like... Bad. But suprisingly it went pretty good. I mean, everytime I talk to him I talk to him it's like i've known him forever... But I haven't. He hasn't even been around for HALF of my life. I guess that's just a father daughter bond type thing. But then... when i hang up the phone and sit down, and have time to actually THINK... I hate him all over again. I start to think of all the bad things he's done, and the way he's been everything BUT a good dad... I get mad. I start to hate his stinking guts. I start to get irritated with everything he is. It's hard to even consider the good things he is, or could be, because all I'm worried about is what he has done wrong, and what he's doing wrong. My dads not perfect... Neither am I, but at some point in your life does he stop and think 'Wow... I ACTUALLY have a daughter" ? I doubt it. It'd be great if he heard me out for once. It'd be great if he remembered my birthday, and sent me some "I care" stuff in the mail every once in a while, But he can't. Actually... He CAN, but he WON'T. When I grow up and I have kids of my own I keep promising myself that my kids will have the best dad around. They'll have the dad I never got to have. I'm gonna marry the man my children call "daddy". Not only am I gonna marry him, but I'll be married to him BEFORE they call him daddy. I'm not saying that it's bad to not stay with the person you have kids with, I'm just saying that I'll open my eyes and find the man that my kids deserve. And even if we don't stay together in the end, I'll make SURE I pick a man that will be everything he was to them when we were together, the same thing if we split. I wish every kid had a mom AND dad. I wish everyone on this planet had 2 parents that they could smile at and say "Thank You" to. Life would just be so much different. Eveything would be amazing and beautiful if everyone grew up with 2 happy parents... I know it would. If i could make one wish... BESIDES being rich, I think I'd wish for my dad to come around. I'd wish for the relationship I never had with him. It's kinda hard being the only one in your house with no one. The only one that Is CONSTANTLY shoved at the fact that my brothers and sister have their dad, but I don't even TALK to mine. I fake everything like it's cool that I never talk to him, but in all honesty... It sucks. At the end of the day I can't make him love me. I can't make him call me. I can't make him be who I want him to be. I can either wait... Or I can move on. The Choice Is Mine .