GoodBye 2011 .

Dear 2011 ,
You Showed Me Alota Things . You Taught Me About Struggles , & Decisions That Switched My Ways . You've Turned My Weaknesses Into Strengths , & My Strengths Invincible . You've Brought Out The Best Of My Smiles , & The Worst Of My Tears . You've Smacked Me In The Face With Change So Hard I Forgot What Smiling Felt Like . You Made Me Hate My Life , & Love It All At The Same Time . You Made Me Realize How STUPID Some Of My Decisions Were . You Made Me Set Down My Drink , & Put Out My Blunt . You Made Me Start Looking For God Instead Of Love ... & What A Relief That He Found Me . You Made Me Smile In The Eyes Of Strangers Instead Of Judging Them At First Site . You Made Me Able To FINALLY Look In The Mirror & Say "Your Beautiful & I HOPE You Know It" . You Showed Me That If I Keep Working On Not Letting My Anger Take Over Me I'll Live A Much Happier Life . You Gave Me Confidence To Believe That I Can Do ANYTHING . You Gave Me Strength To Forget The People That Have Forgotten Me , & Move On From The People That Turn My Mood Blue . You Made Me A Better Daughter . A Better Big Sister . A Better Friend . A Better Grand Daughter . A Better Niece . A Better Cousin . A Better Student . A Better GirlFriend . A Better Person ... I Don't Know If I Can Say I'll Miss You Though . My Memories In 2011 Were Unforgettable & I Thank You For Giving Me A Chance To Live Them . Thank You For Giving Me A Chance To Meet Everyone I've Met , & Do Everything I've Done . Whether It Was Good Or Bad . I'm Happy To Say Some Of The People I Know Won't Make It To My Present . I Said You Taught Me To Move On Right ... ? Well Im Doing Just That . I'm Leaving All The Irrelevant People With You , & Falling In Love With 2012 . The Future ... My Present . What A Great Year I've Had . What An Amazing Time You've Showed Me . Probably One Of The Best Years Of My Life ... 2011 Was The Year I Grew Up , & Became Who I Am Now . God Blessed Me With Being Able To Live All 12 Months, 365 Days , 52 Weeks , 8760 Hours , 525,948 Minutes & 31,556,926 Seconds Of This Year & I Look Forward To The Next Months , Days , Weeks , Hours , Minutes , & Seconds Of The Year That Is Here . GoodBye 2011 . Thank You For Your Time <3 (;

With Tones Of Love ,
A Happy Girl Named Shayla Diamond Capri Zion .

I'm Mad Because I'm Mad .

Am I Allowed To Cry On New Years Eve ... ? Is That OKAY ? It Can't Be ... Some Way To Start Off A New Year Huh ? As I Sit Here With Tears Only Accompanying Me I'm Trying To Remember The Reason I Feel This Way ... But I Can't ? I Don't Even Know Why I'm Sad ... Or Mad ? Or ... What Am I ? I Feel Like I'm Mad Because Of Everyone I Know . I'm Mad At My Friends For Not Texting Me Anymore . I'm Mad At My Mom & Dad For Arguing Like This Is Their Last Day . I'm Mad At My Siblings For Stressing Me Out . I'm Mad At The Mail Man For Riding So Flawlessly Past My Mailbox Everyday & Smiling At Me Like Life Is Perfect . I'm Mad At The Place I Use To Live In For Becoming The Way It Is Which Became The Reason I Moved . I'm At God For Letting Me Feel Like This . I'm Mad At Everyone That Has Put Me As Nothing In There Head . I'm At Everyone ... I'm Mad Because I'm Mad ... </3 Hopefully This Is Just A Bad End For 2011 . I Hope It Doesn't Carry On To The Next . Lets Hope ... Lets Pray . Amen .

I Write For ME .

I'm not really sure who reads my blogs. As a matter of fact, I'm not sure if anyone at all reads them. Some people smoke, some people drink, some people see councilors, & some people do nothing at all. Well ... I Write. I write EVERYTHING. I put my life on paper like it will never tell a soul. I Write how things are. I write when i wanna cry. I write when I wanna scream at the top of my lungs. I write when I'm happy as can be. I write about the people i love. i write about the people i hate. i write about the people i met. I write about the people I don't know. I Write about my crazy drama. I write to kill time. Writing distracts me. I guess all of my writing ends up being written in a sorta a poetic way, but that's just the way I say it in my head. That's the way it feels in my head. What I write is honestly how my life is. It's how I Perceive life. It's MY Perspective. Nothing comes easy. Life isn't chocolate & roses. I keep it real. I tell when life is perfect for me, & when it's flat out shitty. I'll never sugar coat life. NEVER. Ever thought about putting life in your own words? Try it some time.

As We Grow Up ...

As We Grow Up The Word Best Friend Is Just A Label , & Having Fun Isn't Playing With Barbie Dolls Or Toy Cars , It's Hanging Out With Friends . As We Grow Up We Think A Little More & Smile Alot Less . We Get Mad At Stupid Stuff , & Drama Seems To Follow Us . People Start To Steal Boyfriends & Girlfriends Instead Of Crayons , & Suddenly Half The People You Know Own Something Illegal . As We Grow Up Mom 's Not That Funny Anymore & There 's No Such Thing As A Bed Time . Our Yearbooks Get Thicker , But Our Clothes Get Smaller , & Our Style Seems To Change Every Few Months . Our T .Vs Don't Matter As Much , But Our 360s Do , & Our Cellphone's Become Our Whole Life . As We Grow Up We Need A Little More Than A Dollar From Mommy To Please Us . We Start To Cry About Relationships Instead Of Kids Being Mean To Us . We Start To Hate School & Realize There's More To It Than Nap Time & Coloring ... & We Actually Start Arguing Back With Mom Instead Of Just Doing What She Says . As We Grow Up We Start To Wonder Why The Heck We Do Stupid Stuff Like Say We're In Love , & Fall In Love . We Regret Things We Do But Make The Same Mistakes Over & Over . As We Grow Up We Turn The Channel To MTV Instead Of Nickelodeon . Books Become Computers , & Tricycles Turn Into Bikes , But A Car Remains In Our Dreams . The Quite Girl Goes Emo , The Loud Girl Goes Cheerleader , The Pretty Girl Goes Popular , & The Nice Sweet Girl Goes Hoe , But As We Grow Up Nothing Gets You More Notice Than Being The Fun Person That Everyone Knows . Recess Becomes The Time We Have Between Classes , & Cubbies Turn Into Lockers . Being With Family Is Great , But Being With Friends Is Better , But Why Can't Anyone Get Along Anymore ? As We Grow Up Who Cares About Sleepovers ? Parties Are Where It's At . As We Grow Up , To Any Girl Her Ex Likes Is Ugly , & To Any Guy His Ex Likes Will Never Be Better Than Him . As We Grow Up You Get Hit In The Face Instead Of Told On & I Love You Means More Than A Million Bucks . As We Grow Up . . . Life Is Hard & All We Wanna Do Is Have Fun ♥

Don't Fall In Love With Me .

Don't fall in love with me. I'll become everything you've always wanted, & everything you need. I'll tell you everything you wanna here, & nothing but the truth... But don't fall in love with me, I'll make you smile & laugh. I'll hug you so tight you'll remember how forever feels again... But don't fall in love with me. I'll kiss your lips soft & slow, & wrap my fingers through yours with ease.. But don't fall in love with me. I'll play video games with you, & win. I'll play basketball with you Even though I'm not good, & tell you NOT To let me win... But Don't fall in love with me. Your mom will love me, & your dad will say "Son... I Taught you well". I'll be polite & classy at the right times, & down right unladylike when football or basketball is on... But don't fall in love with me. I'll laugh so much it'll drive you crazy, & smile so much you'll be able to draw my teeth with your eyes closed. I'll wrestle with you when you think your tough, & lay beside you when you think your weak. I'll get mad over stupid stuff, & be over it in 5 minutes... But don't fall in love with me. I'll apologize for my mistakes, & prove to you when I'm right. I'll support what you love to do, & tell you to never give up. I'll be a good listener when you need to talk, & a good talker when you need to listen... But don't fall in love with me. I'll trust you until you give ,e a reason not to, & tell you i love you up until the day i don't mean it. I'll cry & smile at the same time. That mean I'm trying not to cry, but I can't help it. I'll be strong as much as possible, & weak on rare occasions... But don't fall in love with me. Why not you ask? Because it's harder to fall out of love than it is to fall in. & Boooooy does it hurt to move on. I Guess you can say I'm SCARED? Give me time to love you first. Don't tangle me up in your feelings JUST Quite yet. So Love Me ... But DON'T Fall In Love With Me.

2011 Reflection

A List Of What You Want To Change In The New Year

• Stop letting pointless things get to me.
• Be smart. Learn from my mistakes.
• Go to church more. ( ALOT More )
• Focus on school. College isn't free.
• Let people read what i write instead of letting opinions scare me.
• Let love find me instead of looking for it all the time.

A Letter To A Person You Grew Apart From This Year

Dear Bestfriend,

Having a bestfriend is kinda like falling in love. How can you stop it? Fate brought us together. Your the only one who knows me like the back of your hand, and your the only one who can turn my gray skies blue. I've known you ever since I took my first breathe of air. Ain't that somethin? You know all my secrets, and you've seen all my tears, and i guess we just don't really have anything else to share, ya know? you hold my hand like i'm your child, and you hug me like i'm your mom. you kiss me on the cheek when sad, and you hate everyone whos ever done me wrong. I know your life has been hard. Me and god both know, and i wish that it didn't have to change us. Your always busy, and your texts got more limited everyday. I felt it coming. i felt us drifting apart and going to two different directions. I felt the wind pulling our grasps from eachother. I'll always love you though. I'll always be here for you, and whipe your tears away just like you did mine. Pinky promises have always kinda been our thing, so take my pinky through this computer screen and promise me that you'll never forget me. Ilybttsbtsne <3

Love,

Shayla .

A Letter To The Person You Grew Closer To This Year

Dear Bubby (Brother),

Your my WORLD. I've known you forever ( Literally ) , But this year it's just now feeling real... Like I really know you. Your truly growing up. Your three years Younger than me, but we feel like thee exact same age. I Never thought that I'd be able to come home and tell you all about my life, and who i loved and who i swore i hated. I Never thought you'd be asking me for girl friend advice, and talking to me about situations you couldn't even take serious last year. I never imagined you actually would stop hugging me and running in my arms after not seeing me for a while. I never thought that you'd become such a handsome, respectful, and loving young man... I Just never thought. It's crazy how much different you look, and how much deeper your voice has gotten. I Wish i could make you stuck at this age. I Never want you to grow up. I'm gonna miss these years. Your growing before my little eyes, and once I'm gone and off to college i hope you call me everyday. I hope you tell me all about your cheating girlfriends, and your fake friends. I Wanna hear it all. I Can tell you anything, and the crazy part ... Is that I ACTUALLY Trust you. I trust that my secrets are safe with you. Sometimes i wish i could go back to when you couldn't even say my name, but then i realize how happy I am that you can finally look me in the eyes, sit down, and have a conversation with me like I'm your BEST Friend.

Love,

Shayla .

Your New Years Plans

• EAT BETTER !!! ( Less Mcdonalds & More Apples )
• Dance In The Rain With Someone I Love
• Let The World Fall In Love With My Writing
• Spend More Time With My Family
• Make A Stranger Happy
• Finish The Book I'm Writing
• Let Someone READ The Book I'm Writing
• Make My High School Cheerleading Team
• Be A Better Person

10 Things You Did This Year

1. Stole My Best Friend's Dad's Car and drove it all around town on the SLICK , DANGEROUS , ICE . Can't Get More Stupid Than That, Right ?
2. Learned To Swim ... SUCCESS <3
3. Met An AMAZING Boy . He's My Everything Now .
4. Got Into A Fight ... NEVER AGAIN >___< ( Fightings TRASHY , Not CLASSY )
5. Fell In Love ... Whata Great Feeling .
6. Moved, & Found Out That Change Is An AMAZING Thing .
7. Became More Aware Of What I DESERVE & Ignored What I WANTED .
8. Volunteered At A Sick Home .
9. Learned To Appreciate & Thank My Mom More Often For Everything She Does .
10. Acted Beautiful On The Inside AND Out, & Gained Self Confidence Towards My Flaws. Flaws Are BEAUTIFUL .

9 Pictures From This Year

I Love My Little Sister <3

Be Silly !

Buy Something Pointless ... Like A Goldfish ?

Go On An Adventure .

Experiment With A Camera .

Fall In Love With Happiness

Move On .

Cherish The Little Things .

Enjoy Family .

I'm Saying That Love Is Confusing.

Love Is Just One Of Those Things That Makes It A LITTLE Harder To Sleep At Night. It Keeps You On The Edge Of Your Seat When Your Tippy Toes Get Tired From Helping Your Lips Kiss His. Love Has A Smell, A Taste, & Even A Feel. Sometimes You Forget How Important Yourself Is Because Your So Caught Up In Someone Else. I Wish Someone Would Untangle Me, Because I'm Done With Love. I Always Told My Self That'd It Be A Cold Day In Hell Before I Settle For Less Than I Deserve... Hell Has Gotten Really Cold. The Way He Smiles Would Have You Thinking I'm Lying. The Way He Laughs Would Have You Thinking This Was A Joke, But There's Just So Much More To The Story That You Don't Even Know. I Wouldn't Say I'm IN Love, But I Sure As Hell Love That Boy. I Love That He's My Best Friend With A Dash Of Perfection, & Words That Come As Package Deal Which Makes Me Able To Call Him "MINE". I Love How He Makes My Cheeks Hurt Without Even Trying. I Love How His Smile Can Brighten My Day When The Suns Not Not Even Out, & Somehow I I Love The Way He Says All The Wrong Things At All The Right Times. I Hate How He Doesn't Understand How Mad He Makes Me Without Even Realizing Though. I Hate How He Acts Like He Doesn't Care , But God Picks Me Up By Two Hands, Put Me Near His Mouth, & Whispers "That Boy Cares, & Me & You Both Know It". I Just Agree With Him. So What Am I Saying ... ? I'm Saying That Love Is Confusing .

All I Need Is Mommy ... <3

Your

When You Have A Dad , Well ... You Have A Dad , But There's Nothing Like Having A Dad That's NEVER Around . Never Seen Your First Steps , Or Even Watched You First Smile . Never Got You One Of Those Corny Little Shirts That Said "Daddy's Girl" Or Took You Out To Do Things He Liked, While He Got To Laugh At How Much You Hated It . Never Got To Talk To You About Boys And Say "I'll Kill That Boy If He Touched You !". It's Not Like The Movies ... Never Really Was . Not Having A Dad Makes Me Appreciate My Mom So Much More Though ... It Makes Her So Much More Stronger To Me . I Have A Step Dad , & Although I Love & Appreciate Him More Than Anything ... I Just Wanna KNOW What It's Like To Have Both Your Parents Around . Your REAL Parents . Your Real Flesh & Blood . Sometimes It Makes Me Sad . Sometimes When I'm All Alone I Cry . Everyone Has Their Dad ... Everyone Else Has A Perfect Relationship With Their Dad ... Why Can't I ? What Ever Happened To MY Perfect Dad ? But It's Crazy , Because I Know That At The End Of The Day I Don't Need Anyone Except My Mom . She's Played Mommy AND Daddy For So Long That I'm USE To It Now , & I Wouldn't Want It Any Other Way . So Shame On My Dad For Never Taking The Time To Fall In Love With The Relationship He Could Have With His Amazing Daughter . SHAME ON HIM , But One Day When He Realizes That Those Big Brown Eyes Are Doing Just Fine Without Him , He'll Miss Me , & I Won't Want Anything To Do With Him ... Because All I Need Is Mommy <3

BestFriend <3

My