A million little peices running through your brain & not one can find a match. Not one. It should be easy right? To start figuring out the answers. Not when you have information from different places streaming through different directions. Not when you're scared to trust someone else's word because you can't even trust your own. I wish everyone would just drop the knife & grab my hand instead of standing behind me. Half these people aren't who they say they are. Like prisoners cooking with a knife. How can trust them? If we were all who we say we are I wouldn't say I was me. I'd choose someone more beautiful on the inside like Oprah or something. Because there's more behind a pretty face than just a smile. My inside is ugly. My inside is hurt. My inside is shriveled and tired and ready to give everything my little heart has got. Who can you give a heart to that has no place to put it? No place to feel another beat in sequence with mine. Too bad sorry is just a word and doesn't fix your problems. Too bad sorry doesn't bring back the way things were. I can say it though. I can say it and mean it, but the person I had won't come back. The relationship with that person isn't garunteed to recoil into what once blossomed. You know those problems... The problems that god can't fix. The ones where all you can really ask from him is strength to get you through it. I never say sorry because if burns my throat to feel like I've lost. To feel like someone finally has the greater power over me. So when I say it... I mean it 100%. If only it could do more than just being heard.
